How does one acquire patience?

“Patience has its base in love. “Love...bears all things.” says the Apostle (1 Cor. 13:7)(1).

In order to endure the other, you must love him/her, feel their pain.

If you do not feel the pain of the other person, you become tired of him/her.”(2)
- Saint Paisios the Athonite

Reflection:
Patience is rooted in love. “Love one another as I have loved you.” (John 13:34) We must sacrifice ourselves for others as Christ sacrificed Himself for us. Patience with someone requires a loving sacrifice: of our time, of our control over things, trusting it to God’s Will.

St Paisios suggests that in order to be patient with someone else, we must feel their pain, truly embrace their pain as if it were our own - establishing that connection with them. That is loving one’s neighbor. How could we lose patience if we are truly living in that kind of empathy(3)? Think of how different one may react to everything, approaching each person like this.

God became human and suffered as we do while still being God. That is empathy beyond empathy. That is God’s love for us. We are called to follow Christ’s example and in heartfelt prayer, live in empathy of others - to the point where we feel their pain as our own, and pray from that place of true empathy deep in our hearts - then our prayer is truly “of the heart”, we are truly patient, and give Christ-like love.

This kind of patience is a gift from God that we receive when we set aside our ego to make room for God to work in us. We need God’s help.

We begin acquiring this gift of patience by praying, thinking, speaking, and acting from that deep place in our own hearts - feeling their pain as our own, and acting in Christ-like love, beseeching God’s mercy upon them.

References:
1) 1 Corinthians 13:2-8 “Love is patient and is kind; love does not envy. Love does not brag, is not proud, does not behave itself inappropriately, does not seek its own way, is not irritable, does not keep a record of wrongs; doesn't rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.
2) Read More About Saint Paisios Here - Spiritual Counsels Volume V. Passions and Virtues, pg 292.
3) Empathy vs Sympathy - YouTube Video on Empathy vs Sympathy